Monthly Archives: June 2010

Image courtesy grandparentstoday.com

Todays words from the digital man cave are about something I’ve loathed for a long long time. Social Security tax on a paycheck.

Every since I discovered what the Social Security situation is in the United States and understood what all the line items were for on a pay stub, I could not stand the Social Security tax. Now, I’m not one of those people who dislikes spending money on anything that doesn’t directly benefit themselves. I give to a number of organizations regularly and I enjoy it quite a bit. My problem comes because at the time I understood what the tax was supposed to be for, and then I saw how it was actually being used. The built in system of false advertising is what bugged me so much. Essentially the government says “I robbed Paul because I felt it was necessary. Now I”m going to rob you Peter, so I can pay back Paul.” Not that I like this method, but who is next in line to get robbed? All signs point to no one.

Well today I read a simple explanation that put it in perspective for me. It made what happens… palatable. What I’ve been seeing on paychecks is formally labeled Social Security tax, but really it’s a parent and grandparent tax. See I’m a gainfully employed individual, and the prospect of not being employed scares me a whole lot less that it does most people. How do I know this? Nearly everyone I tell wants me to be more worried because they’ve gotten more worried than me. Maybe they know something I don’t, or maybe I’ve been raised to be a thriver. Thriver, not survivor. I owe that in part to the time, effort, sweat, tears, and sanity my parents and grandparents gave to impart some values and positivity into my life. Enough that I could go out and support myself. So this tax that I’ve been loathing this whole time, it’s really just a small way of paying them back and saying “You could have spent your time doing a million other things. Thanks for thinking I was worth it”.

When I look at it like that… I’m almost okay with having it forcibly removed from every paycheck and then doled out by someone who doesn’t really care about the cost of living. Almost.

Come back to see more words from the digital man cave.

Todays words from the digital man cave are on the third week of mastering education.

This week I find myself craving feedback and validation with my academic pursuits. I may have mentioned it before but the downside to online education is the lack of a physical classroom. I never thought I would value real-time communication so much, until i chose to go without it. The alluring benefit of online education is that, for the most part, you can learn at your own pace and set your class times. But what if your class times are 6 hours behind everyone elses? Well there goes your chance at grabbing some of the energy of synergy. And with it goes one of your best opportunities to have any sort of dialogue where learning takes place. It’s not like I can invite everyone over to the man cave for a sitdown or anything. I imagine it would be less productive than it sounds.

I think that’s what you have to remember and focus on the most when it comes to online education. The learning is what you make it. If you view your reading and assignments as optional, the potential knowledge to gain will be that much harder to see. If you view the discussion elements as inconsequential, that’s exactly what you’ll find.

Now… I’m not saying that the quality of your online education is entirely up to you. If that were the case, there wouldn’t be any difference in where you got your education, and there shouldn’t be any difference in the cost between schools. But there is. And so you should expect something from your higher learning institution. You should expect to be challenged. And I don’t mean having your patience challenged but being challenged mentally. Finding a tea cozy in a man cave is challenging, but it’s not going to make you grow. Solving a crossword is challenging and you’ll probably learn something in the process. See the difference?

It would be easy to say that you should be certain of the experience you’ll get from your online education BEFORE you start, but I won’t. If I did I’d feel like I was one of those people who talks a good game about something they have zero knowledge of. You can’t know for certain what you’ll get because anyone you talk to will be speaking from a biased position. Admissions officers at ANY school want you to go there. It’s money in the bank. Students who did well there will usually speak well of the school, after all they did well. Students who did not… you get the idea. The only way for you to form a true opinion will be through your own experience.

So what am I saying here? As I sit, typing away in my digital man cave I guess what I’m saying is… take it seriously, but take it with a grain of salt. Act as if every reading, assignment, and discussion has been given with a specific purpose in mind, but don’t delude yourself if the school isn’t putting out enough to match what you’re putting in.

Stay tuned for more words from the digital man cave! Next week we talk about what it’s like to have a class end, and what it’s like juggling life and final projects.

Todays words from the digital man cave are about duty… and progress.

I’ve been working on a few projects lately… nothing major, just keeping busy. In the midst of all of it I’ve had a lot of time to think about the progress we make in the world, and the duties we have.

Image courtesy zazzle.com

Some duties are assigned to us, either by those we care about or by those that we give power in our lives (a boss for example). The duties I am most interested in today are the ones that we assign ourselves. Those tasks that we take on because we see it as the only logical choice to make. When you have a duty like this and you work for it, it becomes as essential to living as obtaining food for the day. And for the dedicated few they eat, sleep, and breath their duty. For them it’s not essential to living, it is living.

Take Lance Armstrong for example. Admittedly I don’t know as much about him as I could, but I would bet that he feels his duty in life is to be the best. The best him, that is. And coincidentally, being the best Lance Armstrong also means being an extremely well-liked public figure, and one of the best to ever compete in his field. While kicking cancer in the nucleus. Repeatedly.  For others, their duty may not be as life consuming as it is for Lance. Maybe it’s volunteering at a local soup kitchen every thanksgiving, making sure to never miss a year. Maybe the duty is to do your best to earn the title “Father of the Year” from your kids.

Whatever it is, everyone has a duty to perform in life. One that gets them up early and puts them down late. The one that they do because it creates some sort of progress in the world. Either in their life, or the lives of those around them.

While I believe we all have one, I do not think everyone performs one. Some aren’t yet looking for theirs, and some just don’t care. I’ll speak my opinion plainly and see if I make enemies. You’ll never quite hit full potential without finding that call of duty and answering it.  There will always be something more you could have done.

Have you answered?

Stay tuned for more words from the digital man cave!

Todays words from the digital man cave are on mastering education in Week #2.

The main thing I’ve noticed this week is that online education is everything people think it is, but it’s not really like people think. For example it is an easy way to approach education in the sense that you can choose the amount of time to spend, and when you spend it. That aspect of the experience is expected. What is unexpected is how quickly and easily the urge to say, “This is boring. What’s on TV?” manifests. Sitting in the digital man cave, thinking I was being studious, I had to catch myself a few times when I noticed my thoughts wandering. I was trying to formulate my responses but then I started thinking that the assignment itself was a waste of time and not providing any substantial learning. Then I remembered that this is quite literally the beginning (day number 9) and I have no experience that says I’m qualified to say what is and is not important or a waste of time in graduate education. I’m a newbie and I caught myself slipping.

Everyone expects that you have to schedule and plan out just about all of your time so that you keep up with assignments. What I don’t think everyone expects is that all your scheduling can mean a whole lot of nothing if you don’t A) schedule AHEAD of due dates instead of FOR due dates, and B) know how to shut out the world. Well maybe other people didn’t expect it, I don’t think I did. Or didn’t properly prepare for it. Point being, it is critical in online education (probably more so than going to school somewhere physically) to be ahead of the assignments. It’s sooooooo easy to miss assignments and shrug off “going to class” because all you have to do is not load up a website. That’s it. Don’t load the website, and you get a free day from class. Seductively simple isn’t it?

Stay tuned for more words from the digital man cave…

Todays words from the digital man cave are about a topic that means the world to this digital man cave.

I’ve got pretty strong opinions on the roles men take in our society today, and how concepts of masculinity are slowly being stripped away to be replaced with… some sort of masculine/feminine hybrid. I’m not a big fan of what’s happening, but that’s just me. A friend of mine is well aware of this and decided to link me to an article that pretty much solidified my thoughts on the matter.

Apparently in this issue of The Atlantic Magazine people are beginning to wonder if in fact men are actually necessary… July/August 2010 issue. RIGHT NOW. Are fathers necessary? The entire idea of that question is offensive to me. Not just because I am male but because I feel it makes a mistake that women have been trying to correct for decades.

Seven decades ago it was widely thought that women were not skilled enough to do anything. More than that, just about anything women could do men could do much better. Well fast forward to 2010 and women have fought hard to be recognized as being equally capable outside of the home. With this article we are now we’re going a step past that to say what men bring to the picture inside the home is inconsequential at best. Worst case scenario for men is that women do it better. Men are inconsequential or barely necessary if you like the idea of artificial sperm.

We’ve gone backwards.

It can’t be true that the modern idea of gender equality is one of blatant inequality. And if anyone is thinking of leaving the comment “things were unbalanced for a long time, don’t complain now that the tables have turned”, please don’t. I love discussion in the man cave but that’s just silly. Let’s have justice over revenge. You can have equality with justice. Revenge is like untying your hands just to shackle your feet.

All in all, I am waiting for more research to be done before I make a judgment call on this particular piece. The body of information that says fathers and men are necessary developed over time, so it’s only natural to give this evidence to the contrary time to develop too. Personally I think children learn much, if not all, of their behavior through observation and modeling those around them. Yes, all children male or female can learn positive behaviors and habits from women just like they can from men, but you can’t tell me that children don’t look to those who they resemble and identify with to understand and learn behavioral and social cues.

So if a lesbian couple seems to provide better parenting, in the cases where there is a son present, who is that boy looking at and identifying with? Whoever that person is (I believe that person is more than likely another male, call me sexist for that opinion if you want, I’ll be okay with that right now) they are having an influence that isn’t being tracked or quantified. In fact the way the article reads, two assumptions are made. 1) All positive outcomes for the child are being attributed strictly to the parenting; and 2) It is essentially implied that out of all possible couple combinations, hetero couples are the laziest about parenting and most prone to strife (maybe it’s assumed the father is spending too much time hiding out in his own man cave?). Parenting is one piece of determining how a child turns out. Any parent can tell you that. And the involvement level of any parent is determined by their personality and financial situation. Gender is not a factor in my opinion.

There are a lot of things wrong with the information in this article to me, but the feeling it leaves me with is simple. I’m not the only one who sees a shift taking place in gender dynamics and a devaluation of the positive male contribution to society.

Stay tuned for more words from the digital man cave!

Todays words from the digital man cave are a recap on the first week of graduate school. If you have been keeping up, you may know that I like to stay busy. Well one of the things on my To Do List of Life is continue with my education. It’s a long time coming, so I’m glad to have finally gotten off my a$$ and started moving. I chose a well known online university because A) I’m keeping myself so busy that going to a brick & mortar institution for

This first week is off to a bang. Two classes (frequently considered full time for grad students) with assignments and deadlines due on wednesdays + fridays, and saturdays +sundays for one class, and then thursdays+ saturdays + sundays for the other. Actually I’m not sure about that last combination, but the point is graduate school is no joke. More so, online graduate school is no joke. Just because you aren’t in the classroom doesn’t mean they won’t work you to death. If anything, they will work you more, because all they have to go on is your written word.

That’s another thing. If you’re not a fan of writing, graduate school of any kind may not be for you. Especially online graduate school.

The assignments aren’t so difficult at this time, but I see papers on the horizon and the schedule of due dates don’t really change. So they want you to not skip ahead, but following their advice will eventually put you in a time crunch if you have any sort of life or responsibility outside of school. Which I think a number of people in the program do… since it’s geared towards those folks.

That said I’m pretty positive about what I’ve seen so far. In terms of people’s ability to respond in a professional manner online, I feel I am in the top 10% of my class right now, despite my being a pretty informal guy.

Kind of a scary thought.